Tuesday, June 9, 2009


My best friend when I'm stressed is my workouts.  They aren't fattening.  Other coping mechanisms like ice cream and popcorn just make you feel worse.  I blew my diet all weekend.  I was under serious peer pressure.  I can't like that anymore.  I feel aweful.  I don't ever want to go back.  I've had it with ice creams and fried foods and hamburgers (not that great btw.)


There is more to life than sweet tastes in your mouth.  What about the aftermath?  The stomach ache?  The head ache?  The fat belly?  The self loathing?  The loathing of others?  Never again.   I've had enough.  What is that saying, enough is enough?  For whom?  I've had enough to last me for months without eating, of course my metabolism would tank and I would gain weight, but that is another topic.  

I have at least fifty pounds to lose.  In order to achieve that goal I have to set boundaries and use my ability to say "No thank you."  My old habit was to just go with the flow.  To use inconvenience as a reason to not eat well.  I'm too old to eat poorly anymore.  Now, eating poorly makes me feel bad.  Seriously, I could just puke and frankly if I did puke I would probably feel a lot better.  

In order to feel good about myself, whether or not my body does what its supposed to, I have to follow a reasonable diet.  A reasonable diet does not include dessert.  It just doesn't.  I don't need to be stuffed to not feel hungry.  A smaller portion of food will do just fine.

If I never eat another ice cream cone, I will be just fine.  There is no RDA for ice cream.  ugh.  It makes me wonder if I'm just bored or thirsty all the time.  I know I'm bored a lot.  

Boredom is not a fun thing.  They say if you are bored then you are a boring person.   I just don't give a poop whether or not I"m entertaining anymore.  I worked in show business.  Its boring half the time.  So, how can a business which is all about entertainment, be boring?  lol.  Go figure.

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