Friday, August 28, 2009

Obsession

Why is it that food is on my mind so often?  I'm either planning what I'm going to eat, worried about what I ate, or anticipating when I will be hungry again.  I would like for food to stop being the important part of my day.  But, the thing is when you have had blood sugar problems, you can't just not think about it, you have to plan out your day according to when you can eat.  You have to pack some eats with you no matter where you are going.  You have to be sure that you have enough water and take your vitamins on time.  Its crucial because without that kind of planning you eat the kind of food which is fastest to absorb (simple sugars.) and gain weight or you forget to eat and your blood sugar crashes and you have a seizure or pass out.  I don't know if you have ever had a seizure but it really hurts alot.  I work really hard to keep my blood sugar in check.  I am always analyzing what I'm going to eat so that I don't eat mindlessly.  I can't just eat what I want to eat.  My natural tendency is to eat lots of sugars and the kinds of fats that make me gain weight.  I need to watch myself as thought I were a child and make sure I tell myself to eat healthy food.  

I want to be more normal but I"m not.  How do I shift my focus to other things and still be smart about taking care of myself?  I guess having a little 3 by 5 card with the day's eats on it might help.  How do you set this aside and still be effective?  I don't like eating poorly because it makes me feel so badly.  I am really good about avoiding processed meats anymore because the nitrates give me migraines.  I am really good about what I put in the shopping cart.  I'm also good about using my small kitchen scale to weigh nuts and chips or the natural cheetos.  I just don't know why the tendency to eat that stuff is still there.  Why is that urge there?  


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