Delinquent

Its been a long time since I posted a blog. I haven't been posting cause I figure no body is reading this anyway. But, here is the deal everybody needs some accountability more or less on their weight loss journey, I learned that from Sandra Ahten of The Reasonable Diet Podcast. She is a fabulous life coach and her podcasts have proven to be invaluable to me personally. She is the reason I got started on this journey at all. It is not easy to be at this point. I have been in a plateau for over a year and now with stressors in my life, the pounds have crept up. Well, like in 2007 its time to be honest with myself. Its time to put my calories down on paper. Its time to recognize that there are only 3.5 months left to 2010. I want 2010 to be another year of success on this weight management journey.

In the beginning, I thought I wasn't capable of losing weight at all. Then, once I began to lose weight (30 + in the first year.) I thought I would have attained my goal weight by now.

In the middle, at the 210 mark, I discovered IOWL, the C25K program and Cathe Friedrich. I also discovered calorie cycling. That worked really well for another 30 pounds. Then, that stuck until February of 2009. I became ill twice and was put on antibiotics, twice. I put on 8 pounds with the first round. I got that off. Then, I put on nearly 10 with the second round. That started to come off and they changed my medicine again, and voila, it all came back. Well, now I battle constant sugar cravings where I didn't used to have much. Now, I have to watch everything I put in my mouth. I wake up hungry in the middle of the night and force myself to roll over and go back to sleep. Now, every little bite of chocolate puts visible adipose back on my frame. The drive to eat is there before I am even really awake in the morning.

I must get back into my low carb lifestyle. I have over the month of August, successfully given up ice cream completely, even the ice cream fakes, like yogurt/ice milk etc. The self imposed challenge of Sept. 2010 was a bust. I was trying to give up nuts. I have a very hard time with following portion guidelines with nuts. I just love them too much. I also have a hard time with fruit. I used to be able to have a small serving and walk away, not so much now.

I do think it is my medications. But, could it be age? I am older by three years. nah. its just time to cleanse the old bugs and repopulate with good ones.

I can't forgo my jog. I discovered that without the running, I become depressed, and the weight just creeps up again in spite of being within limits on calories or carbs.

My spirit, my soul, my self all want to be slender now. I don't need that old security blanket anymore. But I find my body tired. I find my mind bored. It takes a lot of personal fortitude to even contemplate the physical work, stamina and emotional oomph to lose weight. Its not the bottom up that is so horribly difficult. The trick is staying on top of your behavior, your mind set and not settling into a momentum black hole.